Monday, 7 May 2012

Last Night Out of Year 1


After a week of sleepless nights, mindless mugging-up, persistent headaches and moments of “I should’ve just gotten married instead!” we got done with the end term of Trim 3 and finally whooshed out of the last loop of the roller coaster that was the first year of PGDM. And this incredible year ended with a bang with “THE Last Night Out”
The plan was to go to Colaba and spend the night at Marine Drive. Mano suddenly got hell-bent on going to Bandra. She kept saying that since she had not seen Bandra Fort in all these months she had to see it once before leaving. Plus Abhinaya was also in Bandra. She had spent the whole evening shopping for her sister.  So that left me and Sheel waiting downstairs for the guys who, as usual, were taking their own sweet time to get ready!! We waited for nearly an hour! It almost seemed like there would be no night out. But eventually the gods (read backwards) descended from the heavens and decided to join us after all!
We went to Vijay Punjabi in chembur for dinner. It was the dream dinner: starter after starter after starter … chicken reshmi, chicken kabab, chicken bhoona, chicken this, chicken that. Oh and a super duper special paneer dish was ordered for Prashant. Apparently this place was chosen because you could booze as well as smoke here while having dinner! So basically heaven for Lambu and Rajan! The peeakkads Sheel, Lambu and Rajan were in full form maaro-ing drink after drink. Sheel of course turned out to be quite the drink mixer! There was one dish in particular which had a lasting impression on us all. It was a chicken starter dish which was soooo chilli that it burnt our tongue! Rajan was in tears after having it! Kung fu was mysteriously quiet through most of the dinner. He spent most of the time messaging someone and the rest of the of it eating chakli (which I donno why was called chakli bcoz it was not round!!) with shezwan sauce.
The Flying Hand: Lambu started this new annoying thing that day. He pretended his hand was an airplane and grazed it on everyone’s head making an “eeeeeeeyyyyyy” sound. It was so weird that when he started doing it people just concluded he was drunk. It is kind of become the story of his life. Whatever he does people just conclude he’s drunk!
Mano Madrasi!: Mano came skip hopping from Bandra and then we got into the whole discussion about how Mano is a Madrasi. It is absolutely hilarious the way she reacts when she’s called a Madrasi! It seems she hates Madrasi’s with a pure, unadulterated white hot rage! She starts bobbing up and down, throwing her hands and legs in the air in retaliation when she is called a Madrasi. And Rohit, who is ½ Madrasi is completely unaware of it! Unfortunately, her children will be 1/4th Madrasi!
After an awesome dinner we left for Marine drive not quite knowing how exactly we would spend the whole night. Kshits went back home as always. He said something about his mom knowing he was out and that he cant go back to hostel or something.. which basically translated to “Sorry I don’t like having fun”. Megha and Shikha were not coming either. Since they would be separated for two and a half months, they wanted to spend the night together.
And thus started the night out!!!!
 




Phata poster niklaa hero: Entry of Sujeet: We picked up Sujeet from the hostel. He was very silent in the car… like life had been sucked out of him. Well, we later heard that he had spent every bit of his energy having an awesome time in the PG A last day party!! Suddenly the song “Pyaar ki Pungi” started playing. It was hard to ignore that there was an uncanny resemblance between that song and sujeet. As soon as we told that to Sujeet, he started blushing and gave his “Mein nirdosh hoon” look. He refused to see the clear connection! It was like if Sujeet got frustrated and wrote a love song this is how it would sound! Plus, it had the mention of the elusive “laila” that he is currently enticed about.

First stop: Marine Drive
All the non-Mumbai people would agree with me when I say that all our bickering and complaints about Mumbai disappear when we come to Marine drive. The place is at its glorious best in the still of the night when you can hear nothing but the crashing of the waves. The company of friends makes this experience all the better! We were lying down, looking up at the sky, figuring shapes out of the clouds. The guys were on the lookout for this old gay man who had once given them a rate card for all the things that he could do for them! Sheel kept saying after every 5 mins that the police will come and bhagao us. Everytime a car or jeep passed by she would say Police aa rahi hai! Everyone just went on overusing the word “Negotiate” … a side effect of the super difficult and taxing exam we had that morning! Mano was being called a Madrasi all over again! She then came up with the logic that since Lambu was working in Chennai, he should be called a Madrasi instead. In his reply, Lambu just gave her the flying hand.  
Sheel was sitting peacefully looking at a small boat at sea for a very very long time. That is when Mano and Lambu decided to bring to rest the question whether Sheel ko bhagwaan ne ladka banate banate ladki bana diya. The theory goes this way: When a girl is sitting quietly, there are 10001 thoughts going through her mind. When a guy is sitting quietly, his mind is an utter and complete blank.
Mano/Avishek: Cheeel, what are you looking at?
Sheel: Nothing
Mano/Avishek: But where are you looking at in that direction?
Sheel: Im looking at that boat.
Mano/Avishek: What are you thinking?
Sheel: Nothing
Mano/Avishek: But you must be thinking of something!
Sheel: No….. I’m thinking of nothing.
Well, Ankur Arora would’ve been very happy with the findings of that experiment!
After a while, the Police finally came and shooed us away from there. They started beating their sticks on the ground like we were homeless people spending the night at Marine Drive and went on saying jaldi jaao jaldi jao expecting that we would get scared and run away from there! But everyone just got mad at Sheel. She was remembering the police so much that they finally had to come!

Next up: Gateway
After being shooed away from Marine Drive we went to Gateway. We all had tea and coffee there and chatted for a while. There was this creepy looking guy who was dressed from head to toe in white. He looked like a South Indian villain ka right hand man. We had only started getting cozy there when a police van showed up around the corner and a cop stared beating his stick on the ground and shooing off all the people there. We kept standing there thinking we would move only when the van reached us. They even woke up people sleeping inside the parked cars and told them to go elsewhere. When he reached us he started yelling ghar jao ghar jao and then we started reluctantly dragging our feet back to the car.

Jaaye toh jaaye kahan?


Now the question on everyone’s mind was where the hell we would go next! We had to go to a place where the police wouldn’t come and shoo us off again. So Carter Road it was! We found a strategic place for ourselves behind a row of trees so that even if there were Policemen paroling around the place, they would not be able to see us. Prashant and Kung fu made themselves comfortable on a lone bench. Everyone was finally at rest because there was no one to move us off from here. Everyone was having a fun time. On public demand, Sujeet was dancing to the song Kolaveri.
Just then this old man came from behind the trees and asked us who we were and what we were doing there. We didn’t really pay any heed to him. Half of us looked at him and then looked away. He asked again but it had the same result. Then a man wearing a Police uniform compete with a gun and everything came and stood behind him and started blasting us. We all fatafat went and stood in front him in one straight line. He asked us what we were doing there. So we said that we were college students, we got late so we had to stay out till 6 am. He looked at Mano and asked her where the college was. At first she was dumbstruck but then said in a full accent “Vidyaviharrr”. He started screaming and shouting about how we were very irresponsible to be hanging around in a dangerous place like Carter road so late at night. We thought he would yell at us a bit and then let us go but he then told us to get into his van! That is when we started getting tensed. We went saying that we’ll go away and all but he was in a mood to bully us. He asked us where all we had come from. Lambu’s first reaction was Chennai! (Guess who was super happy she had company!) The cop said- look all these people come from outside and think they can do anything in Mumbai, roam around in the middle of the night in a dangerous place like Carter Road. Do you people even know how dangerous this place is? Charsi log kaatke paani mein dal denge! Chillaoge toh koi nahi ayega! Kitni dangerous jagah hai yeh! Tum log bahar se aye ho jante bhai nahi. He looked at me and said kya tumhare parents ko pata hai tum yaha ho? I really didn’t know what to say so I just gave an Im-so-ashamed-of-myself-look. Then Kung fu did what he always does when we get into a sticky situation. He started talking to the cop in Marathi. But this time it back fired. The cop came to know he’s from Mumbai and started shouting at him. Tum toh jante ho ki yaha charsi ghoomte hein fir bhi apne dosto ko laye ho. Kaise dost ho tum! Charsi logo se marvana chahte ho in logo ko.. Poor Kung fu kintna gaali pada usko! While the cop went on talking about the charsi people and mar dalenge kaat dalenge two old aunties on their morning walk coolly crossed us. He asked if we were MBA students and then asked our specialization. Rajan suddenly started bonding with the cop “We are in 1st yr and haven’t chosen our specialization yet. I’m thinking of taking Finance. My friend is taking Marketing….” Once their dil ka connection was broken there was another round of charsi people mar dalenge kat dalenge and finally the cop let us go. We quickly crossed the road and got into the car but could see from far away that he was still pakao-ing Lambu, Prashant and Rajan. When we reached college it was still 5 am and we couldn’t get in till 6. We stood outside the gate and went on laughing and laughing about our last police encounter.
The last night out was quite an experience. We got shooed away by the police from one place to another, almost had to get into a Police van, ran around the city like homeless people and had loads and loads of fun in between. And it would have been even more fun if everyone was there!


By,
TYLO

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Colour Co ordination



Colour coordination!

This started from nostalgia. For some reason, we all (the girls) ended up wearing grey. None of us even realised it till other people started asking us if we had planned and worn the same colour! Go figure!

So that gave us the idea that we should actually go to class wearing the same colours. People, it had been nearly four months that we were away from home and deprived of good food. So naturally some amount of brain damage had occurred. Hence the dumb ideas!

So the next day we all went to class wearing purple. Some spoilt sport (either sheel or megha) came wearing some other color. Usko galiya dekar we sent back to the room to change! Yes we borrowed clothes from each other and ended up sab line mein ek bench me baithke wearing purple!

The next day we wore white! J

Life mein bahut majboori hai

Isliye paagal panti bhi zaroori hai

-Tilo.


P.S:- Abhinaya is missing.! she was dancing for Nostalgia

Another Update of 7th Oct 2011

dinner with spidey!!!!

ok... so v went for dinner to Blossoms..
sab ready hokar neeche wait kar rahe the. kung fu was taking his own sweet time to get ready (whats new??)
phir sheel aayi... she has been carrying a sadaa hua expression the whole day... v hav been cracking r heads figuring out why!
then she got a message and saw parking lot ke across.... aur uske mooh pe khushi chaaa gayi!!
sheel poochi.... achha "woh" aye toh koi prob hai kya?? (smile smile blush blush and laddu phooting)

so v said ha ha bula le...

and now the story the starts!!

dhan ta daaaaaannn!!!!

apna mr. popular aya helmet shelmet aur bag vag lekar... aur nimisha and madhumita se baat karne laga...and went on talking went on talking...

(oooooh.... neha mishra gave us khabar ki last yr CPJ ne ek bande ko fail kar diya just coz woh girls ke sath baithta tha... guess who got super tensed!!! :)

so v (megha shikha me) left aage coz v thot ki kung fu un dono ko dinner ke liye na bula le...
ahem .... sheel toh spidey ke saath aane wali thi...

toh hum blossoms pahuche... me megha shikha .......
and kung fu aur sheel spidey vr talking their own sweet time...
v kept 2 close close side by side seats for them <3

then came the hot couple.... spidey gave us his awkward type smile
pratik waiter se bola ... menu card lao sahab aye hein....
pehle toh itna junk food dekhke woh pareshaan ho gaya...
i said tumhe yeh sab nahi khana hai toh u can hav fruits!
spidey bola: i ddnt kno i was so famous!
so spidey ordered for a goormmeenntteenn pizza (v vr very confused ki woh kya bola...)
hum soch rahe the... kya bola woh... government pizza?? women pizza??
so v saw the menu card to check ki kya order kiya... turned out he said gourmet pizza :P

it was soo weird .... v vr toh laughing on his face only half the time and woh kaise sad sad stupid stupid baaten kar raha tha!


so r paw bhaji came and finished...
woh humko khate hue dekh raha tha ki kya bhukkar log hein! v had mast milk shakes yaaaa!!! yum it was!!! :)

almost half n hr ho gaya aur uske pizza nahi aya..
phir woh akadke bola... cancel kar do pizza (raising eyebrow giving dirty expression)

then finally uska pizza aya...
aur jab aaya ...
jab aaya....
sabki shakal dekhne layak thi...
ppl vr ultimately dariing one another to have another piece of it!!

toh hum kha peekar uth gaye...
megha did natak ki oh my god!! i ate soo much i cant move only!

sheel and spidey left coz unko walk karke jaana tha...
then when they left v saw ki spidey apni chaabi table pe bhool gaya tha... woh bhool gaya tha ki sheel ke liye choor gaya tha vr not yet very clear about that...

then jab hum fir room mein mile sheel's face started full glowing again!! :)

By,
TILO

P.S:- Same Mail Chain.. Just another update :D

Updates of Oct 7th 2011

manooooooooo!!!!

tu kya gayi lagta hai sar se maa ka saya uth gaya :(
missing u loads

detailed updates frm day 1 so far:

1. Mysterious glow on spidey's face since the first class. Plz note: sheel left 15-20 mins b4 the movie ended last night saying she's going to sleep. What she did really after that v dont really kno.

2. "Madam" ...as she's called by the HRM prof.... was msging in class n got her cell confiscated. For this she also had to bharo jurmana by contributing 2 litres of Pepsi of some supposed class party vr gonna hav in the end of the trimester with the HRM ma'am

3. Marketing class:
Pillai: Guys! y is pgb so quiet today?

----------------------sannata---------------------------

Pillai (makes big eyes and gives dirty south indian villain smile): Hav u guys been given a sermon by Sheel Mallik?
Conclusion from observed facts: Pillai has the hots for Sheel!!

4. Fact of the day: Sheel Mallik minus cell phone equals Shouvik Biswas.
in case u hav not followed v wl explain the derivation later.

5. Dandiya form mein megha wrote all r names and also spidey's.
Then the paper was passed on to the next bench where by pure coincidence spidey was sitting. he ddnt realise his name was already written on the sheet n wrote his name again.
Sheel (full on blushing): Woh kyon likh raha hai? Meine likh diya na....

6. Recovery of the cell phone: HRM wali gave off phone to shetty. shetty was is full mood today and full sheel ko dant diya!
End mein bola: Do u kno what this kind of behavior reflects? it just shows how frivolous u all hav become!!

7. OM marks out.... v hav all passed!!! :)

So all in all sheel rocked the first day of trim 2!!!
sheel tu nahi hoti toh hamara kya hota!!

mano come bak faaaaasht!!!
take care

By,
Tilo.

P.S: This was a mail sent by TILO when i was in Hyd!

Matheran - THE trip


Jab mano ne mujhe bola ki matheran waali trip pe kuch likhna hai to mujhe lag

a that it is very late to brief you all about the Matheran trip .. butjaise jaise soch rahi hun, badaa mazaa aa rahaa hai :P

We went out to have dinner and to drop mano and abhinaya .( they were going to Hyderabad)....we are not very used to having dinner at very ‘Sabhya’ places.. but i think sadoo suggested that we should go to Yogi’s .. so we went.. Sheel was absent as she has gone to Marine drive with her special friend ..

Abhinaya and Mano dint really want to go home .. par ab to ticket book kar liye the... aur saari duniya mein dhindora peet diya tha ki jaana hai ... to kya karte .. jaana hi padaaa...

Tilo took full aggressive roop then, ki use hostel waapis nahi jaana .. aaj hi to exams khatam hue hain and all

tht ,... so ab tilo apni baat par datt gayi .. so we thot we will go to watch ‘sahib biwi aur gangster’ but sadoo had a doubt “ hum log to ghar chale jaenge movie ke baad, phir tum dono kya karoge .. wont it be too late to go bak to the hostel??? I don’t think he till that time realized what is a nyte out: P.. after a lot of discussion on what to do we left for RCity to watch the movie... as we approached the ticket window sadoo spoke AGAIN “ i don’t see a point in wasting 300 bucks for a movie like this and that too when half an hour of the movie is over” (he actually had a point) but i hated him in that moment.

SO then the movie plan got cancelled... we then sat right outside the multiplex waala area (on the ground) thinking what could be done... unlimited suggestions were coming in.. it was like saari productivity aaj phoot phoot kar baahar aa rahi hai. In between Sujeet had also cum to watch the movie (the plan already cancelled) :P LAmboo kept thumping his feet on ground ( proper kadamtaal) saying “ mujhe bike chalani hai chalani hai chalani hai... and sadoo was standing with his bag in hand waiting for us to finish the discussion so that he can leave! Me and tilo amidst this discussion had lost all hopes of there being a nite out and started making plans of where we would go and stay for the nite. Also we went to the kids section and started playing.. i don’t think anyone noticed us going also.

Then we finally decided upon matheran... ab problem thi ki bike teen aur log saath (bahut na insaafi hai :P) so we then called siddhesh with his bike. The journey was beautiful and CHILLING!!! Rajan and lambu full speed mein chale jaa rahe the (they dint know the way!) when we reached close to matheran there was fog all around! I felt like we are entering heaven! The entire journey ka thakaan was gone... then the difficult part of the rasta came.. motu ke clear instructions the about moving in first and second gear only ( or something like that .. mujhe tab bhi samajh nahi aaya tha aur aaj bhi nahi aaya hai ) ... suddenly at one point me and prashant saw all the other three bikes gire pade hue hain in a very weird fashion. We were not suppose to stop there but we did aur fir humaara bike bhi peeche jaane lagaaa .. TAB darr lagaa tha! :P

We then reached matheran and started going (i think it was trekking, motu chalta jaa raha tha aur hum uske peeche peeche) towards some sunrise point (which we never reached) some sidie stories about how motu is possessed and he is going to kill all of us were pouring in (creativity at its top). We were 8 ppl walking in 3 torch lights of mobile phone (mere phone pe to woh bhi nahi hai L) on the railway track.... we finally reached a garden (which was the sunrise point for me). I thought ki atleast ab shanty se sunrise dekhenge ..but the dogs in matheran had a different plan.. they dint like us t


Fir shaant ho gaya sab!! The sunrise was superbeatiful!
J J mazaa aa gaya!here .. they barked so much that i though ki aaj main yahin marungi! (kutte ki maut!)

Par prashant ne decide kiya ki sab kuch itna wonderful kaise ho sakta hai .. so he lost his bike keys!!!!!!! Waise more than hum kaise waapis jaenge he was worried about “main papa ko kya bataunga” :P we then trekked all the way down looking for his keys .. i twisted my ankle in the process!!! L when we reached the parking the keys were there on the bike itself!!!!! But the “ HEARTS” form the keychain were lost... L


We came back to the hostel after an amazing nite out, to beautiful matheran .. with loss of prashant’s pink hearts and my twisted ankle! Tilo’s chessboard face was equally amazing ... J as of now Mano is still trying to recover from the loss of an amazing nite out which will never happen again. She thinks twice before stepping out of the hostel over the weekend... “ will i again miss an amazing trip with the most amazing people???”



By,
Megha

Friday, 16 March 2012

The BAAPUUU

Bhopu ban gaya baapu

It was a dhoti clad frail little man who with his sheer determination and discipline led us to the road of Independence and with his charismatic personality and humble demeanour won the hearts of billions across the globe. He is fondly called “baapu”. Decades later, there came another man who rose to such heights. He too, with his natural charisma and wit won several hearts that beat for him in unison. His humble disciples, ready to take on the world to defend his honour, in an almost hypnotic dedication called him “Baapu”.

No he’s not a spiritual leader or a social reformist or a rockstar or a cricketer. He’s an Accounts Professor. Now, if you feel you have been taken for a ride then read on to get a whiff of the bullshit behind the so called greatness and see the crap behind the supposed legend. Here’s the real story of the Baapu!

When you see him for the first time he will appear to be a poor little dejected creature with his sad droopy eyes and a “my mommy doesn’t love me” expression. You’ll almost feel sad for the helpless chap. But that’s how gremlins look right before you feed them!

He is a vampire octopus head wrapped around the face of humanity!! A ruthless sadist who draws pleasure in torturing poor little souls who are under the impression they are going to be imparted knowledge.

First of all, he teaches accounts. Yes accounts- a set of guidelines that tell you how to record and report financial transactions of a company. Right? Wrong. Because you have entered the twisted maze of this accounts prof’s head who thinks he’s teaching nothing short of the mystery that is held in the movement of sub atomic particles that explains the existence of life and helps you uncover the secret of why humanity exists and shit. He thinks he does humanity a big huge favour by waking up every morning!

To understand why a man is how he is, you should take a peek into his past. Now as this ratio obsessed Dracula says “Create a story with all the facts in hand”, let me try to do the same.

He’s a living caricature! Yes - the classic case of big head small body. When he stands without support, he looks like he’ll fall face first any second! That might be one of the reasons why he was bullied terribly as a kid. Yes bullied. Why else would a perfectly sane man who is apparently an IIT pass out choose to take up a subject like accounts to start his reign of terror over humanity? I can almost imagine… just like Bruce Wayne spent all those years in isolation learning the art of warfare in the snowy ravines of some kind of Chinese monks inhabited place in the middle of nowhere to avenge the death of his parents by fighting all the bad guys in his general vicinity, this pimple faced (I can only assume) geek of an engineer turned to Accounts as a weapon to get back at all the smart looking bright young minds kind of people who once bullied him! Day and night he must’ve stood in front of the mirror practicing his stink eye stare and tried out different versions of his signature line “That is agreed. So?” till he got it just right.

Now moving on to his teaching techniques, it is basically an endless loop of “so-why-how”. He will start the class with a question and after what feels like decades of questioning and counter questioning, he will conclude the discussion by asking the same question again. Why the endless loop? To answer this we go back to the time he was an infant. He had a toy fixture attached over his cradle which would spin round and round. He was so mesmerised with it that he looked at it all day. When he was shifted out of the cradle, it was like he had lost the meaning of his life. But not for long. He then discovered the ceiling fan! It too went round and round! What’s better was that it didn’t have those gimmicky colours and it spun around faster! When other kids spent their time playing outdoors, he spent all his time staring at the ceiling fan. And so like the movement of the ceiling fan, his thought process and his teaching process started moving round and round in circles.

Why does he suddenly “hang” in the middle of the lecture? Because there are no ceiling fans in the classroom and he spends two minutes in silence thinking how much he loves them.

The man wears a pair of run down brown dirty sneakers to class everyday. Why wear sneakers to class? That too an MBA class? There can be two explanations. One – he thinks he looks cool. Two – he too, like Forrest Gump, had a dream to run his way across the world. When he made the life changing decision to go down the path of accounts for his not so noble cause of bullying people, he thought he should also re live his childhood dream side by side. So he bought a pair of sneakers to wear all the time and when people are not looking he works on building his stamina by running in lightning speed from one place to another. This explains why he shoots out of the class like a bullet once the time is up.

He has only 4 t shirts and two pairs of trousers. That’s it. Why? You see, since he is so tiny, he has to buy clothes only from the kids department of shops. It’s possible some sales person got the wrong idea when he was found lurking around the kiddie changing rooms without a kid and a restraining order was issued against him in all clothing stores. So he is stuck with just 4 t shirts which he wears over and over again.

In the coming few years of our lives, we have to think over issues from the points of view of a creditor, an investor and a manager. So now that all the observations have been discussed, now “what does all this mean?” Frankly, I don’t care! I’m still orbiting in the infinite loop of what is the purpose of doing cost accounting, what do you mean by acceptable and whether the cost of two nails that were used in building a table in somebody’s sundry is a materials cost or an overhead cost!

Waise “baapu” ke bare mein jitna bhi bola jaye kum hai

Lekin itne bhi velle nahi hum hein.

Class mein baithe ho gayi mein soch soch ke pareshan

Kis janam ki dushmani nikal raha hai yeh insaan?

Megha, Lambu, Sujeet, Kung-fu: I love you guys!! Let’s see how many of you actually reach this part of the blog! :P

Mano, Sheel, Abhinaya: We are not the only ones who think this way!

-Tilo.

HOLI



So Finally, Holi was here.!! This was like a week back.. Please forgive me if i miss out on any parts..
So

All the timings mentioned are approx :D

9:00 Am : My room (room no 203) door gets knocked...i am sleeping and i dont get a hint of it..
10:00Am: i open my eyes. Go into washroom to brush and i can hear people shouting my name now n then from downstairs
10:03 AM: i look down the window and i see everyone to be un recognizable *I dont want to go down syndrome had started*
10:10 AM: People downstairs started noticing me.. and almost started giving me subtle hints of coming down.
10:25: i go downstairs..

I remember first person to put color on me was prashant.. And then everyone flooded.. dont even remember who where when..... Only thing is that archit guy ful chance maarofyed.. once happy holi classmate karke...... once ex safian karke....

And nyways from colors to keechad...
So the water pipe started near the throw ball court and it was un-explainably dirty...! And everyone were being lifted and put down in the keechad . OMG
Nyways the only thing i remember is the bhaang...... Tried it for the first time... And had a wonderful time....Surprisingly, it was too tasty also :D :D
About the bhaang story i think its better others update !!!